Leeca
by Inseiko
Summary: *songfic* Ran visits Ayachan in the hospital on her birthday. (bring kleenex?)


Leeca v. 1.0   
Weiß Kreuz songfic by Inseiko   
Song: "Leeca" by Gackt Camui, translation by Mina-P, taken from the Memorial Hall of Translations with permission. (http://www.senshigakuen.com/translations/lyrics/gackt/leeca.htm) If you listen to the song really closely you can hear Gackt singing 'Happy Birthday' at the beginning. ^_^   
Connection to SuL? Conceiveable. ^^v 

***** 

Someone was singing 'Happy Birthday' in English amongst the shouts and hollers of children down the hall. It was someone else's birthday today. He envied them on her behalf. He did everything on her behalf. Got angry. Got sad. Got revenge. 

Stepping into the hospital room, he shouldered the door shut and shed his name with his coat to become Fujimiya Ran. He smirked a little at that thought. It was more like the ghost of Fujimiya Ran. 

The room was the exact way he'd left it, with a line of flowers on the sil and her hair in two dark braids: her favorite hairstyle. She'd worn them especially for her birthday. Ran pulled the chair up to the bed and examined her porcelain features. 

_In the rays of sunlight, you were smiling_   
_ The puppy sleeping on your knee also looked peaceful…_   
_ komorebi no naka de kimi wa waratteta_   
_ hiza no ue de neru koinu mo yasuraka na kao o shite…_

Funny how memory acted on a person. The wisp of a smile chipped at his face until his eyes glistened with years' worth of tears. Reaching out, he placed his hands gently atop her right hand. It was so easy to pick moments, she'd been his life. She was his life. Last year the memory had been the first time he held her; his little sister. His precious thing to protect for all time. She made him important. 

_A little book was spread in the palm of your hand_   
_ And you softly traced the words with a pretty finger_   
_ chiisana hon o te no hira ni hirogete_   
_ kirei na yubi de sotto kotoba o nazoru_

This year it was when she was just entering her teen years. He could remember the day perfectly. For her birthday that year he'd taken her to the park. He pretended to be reading himself, but he couldn't help but watch her read. The shadows dappled her yellow sundress with light fragmenting through the kaleidoscope of leaves overhead. The day had been absolutely beautiful; not too warm, not cold, and not a cloud marred the endless blue of the sky. 

It was so different from the day he'd grown cold. 

_I thought that with that smile, anything could be saved_   
_ sono egao de nanimokamo sukuwareru to omotteta_

Ran reached one hand tentatively over, brushing her bangs from her closed eyes. He yearned to see her eyes again, to see her smile at him and laugh at him and... make everything better again. 

_Underneath the limited sky, it vanished_   
_ The memory of you at that time_   
_ Inside of the dream I made, I saw it_   
_ That sky was, already…_   
_ kagirareta sora no shita de kieta_   
_ ano koro no kimi o omoide ni wa…_   
_ tsukurareta yume no naka de miteta_   
_ ano sora wa, mou…_

Ran squeezed his eyes shut as his thoughs eventually meandered their way to the same destination. That single moment in time that haunted him wherever he went. He snapped his fingers away from her skin. Leaning back in his chair, Ran fisted his hand at his mouth and clenched his jaw. The urge to break was great, but his urge to go on was stronger. It didn't do any good to sit and cry and feel despair. 

Blinking rapidly, Ran shook his head a little and felt the weight of the earring as it swayed. He watched as it caught the sunlight coming through the window and cast reflections on the stoic white walls. 

_In the transparent wind, though in vain, I held you close_   
_ Even now I can't let go of you_   
_ As you look back at me_   
_ sukitooru kaze no naka, hakanakute dakiyoseta_   
_ furikaeru sugata wa ima mo mada_   
_ hanarenakute_

The hand fisted at his face spread out to cover his mouth and he hunched forward. Even now the thought made him sick. Light, it always reminded him. There was no escape. His thin body quivered with the effort of control. 

The door clicked open as a nurse entered on her rounds. He looked up with the eyes that stole souls from his victims in the dead of night. She stopped short in fright, murmuring a hasty apology and backing quickly away. 

He turned back to the bed, still shaking all over. This was why he kept the door closed... today... 

_Underneath the limited sky_   
_ I repeat softly whispered words_   
_ Inside of my closed off heart_   
_ Even now, you're smiling as you were at that time_   
_ kagirareta sora no shita de_   
_ sotto sasayaita kotoba o kurikaeshite_   
_ tozasareta mune no naka de_   
_ ima mo ano koro to onaji you ni waratteiru_

Today was the day he remembered his pain to the fullest extent. Today was the day he visited that ghost of himself and when he left he'd become again the ghost of her. Right here, right now; the sun streaming through the window like that tree back then, the warmth of it on his black-clad back... and her... Yes, he could imagine her smiling still. 

What hurt was the fact that it was in his imagination only. 

What made him sick was the distant notion he may never see it again. 

The kids down the hall raced past him as he left the room, unmindful of the ghost in their midst. Ran- no- Fujimiya Aya stuffed his hands in the pockets of his dark jeans and disappeared into the sunlight like so much darkness before and after it. 

_With the voices of children echoing in the twilight_   
_ Your smile slowly vanishes away..._   
_ yuugure ni hibiku kodomo-tachi no koe wa_   
_ egao o tsurete kieteiku…_   


[Written by Inseiko, 2002] 


End file.
